In my last post, Day 2: School From A Parent's Perspective, I left off with when I realized that my oldest child was not academically prepared to be successful in a private high school environment because my child had limited exposure to text books in her elementary school and the high school expected that a student be responsible for answering their own questions about the material by utilizing and researching the information provided in the text books.
There was a small part of me that blamed the elementary school for not providing books for the students and thus showing them how to use books to find information and self-educate. This is in-part due to me seeing throughout the years how well paid the teachers were as they drove really nice cars and lived in beautiful houses. So this point of children not being provided with the same educational resources that I had during my education process was confusing and I often wondered why the teachers had so much more and the students had so much more less. And though I was in-part in blame back then, I now have an understanding of how our system currently works where resources are not equally shared so within this, for the few to have a high-quality life, many others must go without. It is the same in the public school systems and the children being the one's to go without is an unfortunate consequence of our acceptance and allowance of this system. Which brings me to my next point: My known responsibility as a parent.
Regardless of my attempts to blame the school system for my child not being educated to a private high school standard as well as my own, I knew that I was the one that was ultimately responsible for her not succeeding. I was the one that gave up, I was the one that accepted the authority of the system, and I was the one that very much wanted to believe and have faith that the situation with my child's education would work itself out. I'm sure that many can relate with the guilt here - the knowing that you could have done something to change the situation, decided not to, and then saw that consequences of that decision. Admittedly, I carried around that guilt for a long time and to some extent, that guilt influenced my decision to homeschool my youngest child and to give him the quality education that I saw my oldest child missing out on. Looking back, I see that despite my attempts to utilize guilt to victimize myself and trying to continue to give up, my sense of responsibility for the lives I brought into this world was much stronger and later I was able to utilize this guilt as a point of making changes.
So, at the time that my oldest child was frustrated with the private high school, I was working as an Educational Technician at a public high school and I saw that it would be cool for us to be there together. My daughter agreed and joined me during her junior and senior years. She says today that it's one of the best decisions that she made. From a parent's perspective, I agree as it was definitely cool to see her relax, have fun, enjoy the education that she WAS prepared for and focus on art, theater, and being social which were things that were important to her.
Understand, my oldest child grew into an adult that is stable, responsible, committed and has a strong work ethic. Private school would not have made her more successful and public school did not hold her back from being successful because she is an individual that sees clearly what she wants for herself and comes up with plans for potential ways to make these things happen.
For parents and future parents reading this, realize that the school that you are able to provide for your child - whether it's private, public, charter, co-op, or homeschool - is not likely to change who your child is. What I have found that changes with the child in response to where they get their education is their beliefs and perceptions about self, others, and the world and how they automatically respond to what they're seeing with their beliefs. This is a point that I see surfacing quite often so we'll go deeper into this as the blog progresses.
There was a small part of me that blamed the elementary school for not providing books for the students and thus showing them how to use books to find information and self-educate. This is in-part due to me seeing throughout the years how well paid the teachers were as they drove really nice cars and lived in beautiful houses. So this point of children not being provided with the same educational resources that I had during my education process was confusing and I often wondered why the teachers had so much more and the students had so much more less. And though I was in-part in blame back then, I now have an understanding of how our system currently works where resources are not equally shared so within this, for the few to have a high-quality life, many others must go without. It is the same in the public school systems and the children being the one's to go without is an unfortunate consequence of our acceptance and allowance of this system. Which brings me to my next point: My known responsibility as a parent.
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| My two children - one 7, one 25 |
Regardless of my attempts to blame the school system for my child not being educated to a private high school standard as well as my own, I knew that I was the one that was ultimately responsible for her not succeeding. I was the one that gave up, I was the one that accepted the authority of the system, and I was the one that very much wanted to believe and have faith that the situation with my child's education would work itself out. I'm sure that many can relate with the guilt here - the knowing that you could have done something to change the situation, decided not to, and then saw that consequences of that decision. Admittedly, I carried around that guilt for a long time and to some extent, that guilt influenced my decision to homeschool my youngest child and to give him the quality education that I saw my oldest child missing out on. Looking back, I see that despite my attempts to utilize guilt to victimize myself and trying to continue to give up, my sense of responsibility for the lives I brought into this world was much stronger and later I was able to utilize this guilt as a point of making changes.
 |
| I took this picture of my oldest in her study hall. I was fortunate to be able to be a part of her high school years. |
So, at the time that my oldest child was frustrated with the private high school, I was working as an Educational Technician at a public high school and I saw that it would be cool for us to be there together. My daughter agreed and joined me during her junior and senior years. She says today that it's one of the best decisions that she made. From a parent's perspective, I agree as it was definitely cool to see her relax, have fun, enjoy the education that she WAS prepared for and focus on art, theater, and being social which were things that were important to her.
Understand, my oldest child grew into an adult that is stable, responsible, committed and has a strong work ethic. Private school would not have made her more successful and public school did not hold her back from being successful because she is an individual that sees clearly what she wants for herself and comes up with plans for potential ways to make these things happen.
For parents and future parents reading this, realize that the school that you are able to provide for your child - whether it's private, public, charter, co-op, or homeschool - is not likely to change who your child is. What I have found that changes with the child in response to where they get their education is their beliefs and perceptions about self, others, and the world and how they automatically respond to what they're seeing with their beliefs. This is a point that I see surfacing quite often so we'll go deeper into this as the blog progresses.
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| With her husband. They met in their second grade classroom. |
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